The return of the NaN...hehe

ok so its been AAAGGGGEEEESS since i last blogged, mostly due to the fact tht i dont have a computer, but more so due to the fact tht i thk im over it. i guess bloggin was jus another one of this phases i went through... haha.. as the malay saying goes "hangat hangat tahi ayam" (for those of u who dont know malay, tht directly translated is "hot hot chicken shit". go figure. lol.

and as with all my previous post, i shall do what i do best: WHINE. my sister always complains tht i whine too much. but hey, im sorry but if im annoyed or angry or sad or watever, i want to make sure ppl around me know it, and hopefully be as miserable as i am.haha. jus kiddin. i thk deep down inside i want other ppl to show concern tht they care, and it validates my existence and makes me feel better abt myself.

ok. what does NaN whine abt the most? yups, u got it. her weight. i didnt run in 3 days! and im freakin out because im goin to perth for almost 2 weeks and i dunno if i'l get to do much exercise there. and tht means all the weight ive worked so hard for the last 7 months to lose is goin to pack back on! (and he's comin in 13 days, *GASP*) ok i know how crazy and paranoid tht sounds, but thts jus me alright?

im goin to perth tomm...and i get to meet papa! god, i miss my dad. actually i miss my family heaps. *sigh* anyways, i get to spend a whole week with my dad, which is awesome! i've always been a daddy's girl; i thk it has a lot to do coz im the youngest. my dad spoilt me (but not tht much lah, jus a tinsy winsy bit). i usually got wat i wanted, granted it was within our means. it was more of the opposite with my mom; she was more strict with me and as i was goin through those rebellious teenage years as do most teens, i was convinced tht my mom was out to get me but now, as ive grown, i realised tht all she did was for my own good. i've come to a new realisation in the past few days, (most girls would hate to admit this) but i thk im becomin more and more like my mom. we are very similar in many ways; we share more than just the "ponniah" nose (ppl are always sayin how i look like my mom).. we both are health freaks, and recently i have grown an interest in cookin. and its fun chattin wit my mom on msn gettin recipes of her or askin her questions abt ingredients to use; this is another common trait we have, we both like tryin these recipes, but somehow arent all tht fantastic cooks.. hehe. tht being said, I MISS UR COOKIN AMMA!! i really do. sorry for all those times i complained tht ur food wasnt good. i realise now cookin is not as easy as it seems, and i swear tht now after tasting my cookin, im a lot less fussy wit food. i really am.

geez. this is lookin like a really massive post, and i havent even gotten to the details of kevin's trip yet! 13 more days, i almost cant believe it. i jus realised, when he comes, it will be exactly 6 months since my trip to philly ( i was in philly jan 10 to 15). and oh, have i mentioned tht my trip in dec/jan has been booked? YEAY! im so excited. im a lot poorer now ($3100 poorer to be exact) but im happy. i love travellin. its one of those things tht once u do it, u cant get enough of it. and also, sometimes, its not the place tht counts, its the ppl u meet there *wink + happy smile*

anyways, i fly out to sydney on the 25th of november (we finish our exams on the 23rd, and liss's 21st is on the 24th) to honolulu for 5 days where i'l be stayin wit my cousin (which reminds me, i really need to tell him im comin! lol) and then i fly off to vancouver where i shall venture around vancouver all by myself for 3 whole days... and then im off to philly! kevin reckons tht i would save a lot if i took a bus from vancouver to seattle and flew out from seattle, but there is apart of me tht jus wants to fly our form canada, out of fear of travellin alone. oh well we'l see how it goes. guess it sorta depends on my financial situation too. anyways, one month in the east coast with kevin...we're gonna do NYC (this time i'l get to see my broadway show and the tree at rockefellar!!n hopefully i'l get to be there for new yr's too!), chicago, DC...and also ebensburg. which to be honest im a little scared...hmm.... oh and i get to see cornelius! geez, tht dude cracks me up! seriously, ive only met him once, but he is by far one of the funniest guys ive met!

anyways, after tht, i fly out of JFK airport on jan 4 (or was it 5th?i cant remember) to london, where i get to see my darlin suthesh!! i'l also definitely have to meet up with leela at some point. i cant believe its been what, 4 years since our good old UTP days. anyways, i'l be travellin around wit suthesh, which is gonna be soooooo much fun! he's such a great fren; its amazing how we've managed to keep in touch all this while and our frenship has not faltered one bit. its stronger than ever, and its friends like suthesh tht make life worhwhile. unlike the friends who just dont bother keepin in touch despite all the shit u guys have been through.

anyways, after a good 3 and a half weeks, i head home for 5 days (im missin the first few days of uni, but who cares. family's more important) , then its back to melbourne for the much dreaded 4th yr *shudder* which im really really REALLY NOT lookin fwd too. why cant life be easy??

ok, i thk i have so much more to say, but this is lookin tooooooooooooo long. i'l jus stop. anyways, hope everyone is havin a great break, i know i will, i get to see my dearest dad in perth. and then i get a dose of the shah for 35 days!

ADIOS!!!!!

thank you.

thank you for answering my prayers.
i am eternally grateful.


:)


28!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITS OFFICIAL....JULY 10!!!!

so i jus got an email from kevin...and its official, HE'S COMIN IN JULY!!!
his offer from MMC finally came through, thanks to brian....god i love brian! kevin, when u come down, we're takin brian out for a nice dinner and drinks!!!
oh n congrats on becomin an uncle to a beautiful baby boy!(i guess this means the name "mira" is stil up for takes?? hehe)

on a sadder note, i had my first failed iv. oh well, kevin (the urology intern, not my fren kevin from the states) said tht in 3rd yr he never had a single successful iv...there was this one time he poked a guy 14 times!! geez, at least it makes me feel less worthless hearing tht. i guess u jus got to keep on practising.... either tht, or im gonna be a sucky doctor) but then again, ive done an iv twice before this, so i guess thts not too bad right?

KEVIN'S COMIN TO MY HOOD!!! tralalalalalalalalalala...

ok, time to run. 2 months to get in shape!

my first free pen!

so i went to the morning lecture tht the oncology registrars were giving (not because we need to know tht much detail abt renal cell carcinoma, but because i have a slight interest in oncology) anyways, i got my first freebie from a drug company! a hideously orange pen!!! lol...why i am so excited abt this? its not tht i dont have enough pens (my sister calls me the stationery slut) but because it makes me feel more like a doctor. yeah, lame i know. but i cant help it. :p i really wanna get like a cool drug company lanyard...*sigh* anyone have one??GIVE IT TO ME!

anyways, doctors always have these lectures which inadvertently come with free goodies and free breakfasts in the drug companies bid to buy u over. my question is.....

IS IT REALLY A GOOD IDEA TO BE FEEDING DOCTORS ARTHEROSCLEROSIS INDUCING FOOD??????

i walked pass the table and all i could see was...artherosclerosis, stroke, hypertension...
and FRUIT! (abt the only healthy option they had)

seriously, you wud thk tht since their feeding doctors, they would consider giving healthier options?

but nvm tht, wat abt the doctors???? i mean, i sat near the door, and watched every single doctor/health practitioner/nurse cum wannabe doctor/ppl who arent important but just want to seem important so they hang stethescopes around their neck to look important/f**kheads who dont silent their phone before comin in a lecture..

and u know wat.... 3/4 of the ppl had their plates stocked up wit like muffins and scones and crossant (is tht how u spell tht??)..i mean, geez, i know its free but dont u care abt eating healthy?? i mean having such refined carbs so early in the mornin.. AARRGHHH....disgusting!


well, at least there were the few ones like me who opted for fruit...to say the least.

anyways, updates updates, ...hmm...lets see, i dont have a computer now, its stil spoilt and im barely surviving. but the runnin on the other hand has been goin good. did 5 rounds on saturday, and 4 rounds yesterday. might try to do 5 rounds today if i can.

and kevin is comin to melb! well, at least he's 99% sure. brian jus needs to hand in some paperwork to priscille (or is it priscilla?) who may i add, is such a darlin. i love her! she's so sweet and nice. anyways, if he comes, he'l come somewhere in mid july and he'l be here for abt 6 weeks!!!

anyways...im off!!

to my hood he comes

i am amazed at how things somehow work out, especially when u started off tryin to not keep ur hopes up, fearing disappointment.

what's even better is when ur havin a shit week, with a spoilt computer & unnecessary expenditure, and somethin else cheers u up. i guess every cloud really does have a silver lining doesnt it?

im excited. extremely.

oh, do listen to don't matter by akon. its a f**kinly awesome song. really, it is.

and i like running by the beach. its fun. we really shud do it more often nesh. i have 2 months to get in shape and look good (or at least attempt to look good)

the world is my oyster

its already tuesday of the easter break. which means i only have 5 days left . :(
sort of torn between slackin off, and job searchin. hmmmm. i really shud be puttin more effort into my job searchin for all the travellin i want to do. *sigh* somebody motivate me!

i've been goin through frens facebook pictures and i must admit, i am immensely jealous of all the travellin ppl are doin. wan jean n ely went to amsterdam, ashvin jus got back from barcelona, suthesh has done pretty much every f**kin place in europe i've always dreamt of visiting (london, paris, vienna, prague, switzerland).

truth is, i've always dreamt of travellin. jus never had the moolah to do it as much as i want to. not tht i havent travelled much, i mean, sri lanka, new zealand, australia and america is not bad. oh and there's singapore but thts so close to home it doesn count. so far, my america trip was the most awesome (and not to mention extensive) 6 weeks of both the west coast( san franscisco, LA, vegas, arizona) and the east coast (philly and NYC, the highlight and most eventful but of my trip ;) was more than i could ask for. Thank you, papa for the best birthday gift ever. love u!

anyways, time is runnin out. i mean i want to do travellin before i graduate and my life becomes abt workin 140 hours in 2 weeks and only havin like wat 2-3 weeks off in a year as a intern. sometimes i wish i could take a yr off to do nothin but travel. i was at the melbourne university website and they were advertising for this volunteer programs in places like brazil and india n stuff which sound oh so appealin..

ok, enough of whinin. movin on...we're havin a dessert pot luck this sat! which will be excitin coz i love dessert! im goin to make pancakes and a carrot cake, sandra's makin her famous muffins, carol and her cookies...its gonna be awesome! jus need to starve myself for the next few days and it'l be fine. and need to do some extra running. EXTRA EXTRA runnin.

talkin abt runnin, sandra and i are thinkin abt doin the run for the g thingy. we're aimin for a 10 km run, but dinesh keeps pushin for a half marathon. sorry nesh, but after only 2 months of runnin i really dont thk im ready for a half marathon yet. step by step lah..

oh, and i didnt run yesterday, and i ate an easter bunny yesterday. so u can imagine how guilty i feel. hmmmm.

ok, im off to do some laundry now.
over n out.

i am a nomad.

easter break has started, yet things are not as excitin as i hoped it wud be.

firstly, ive been kinda mood off the last few days...withdrawal symptoms, perhaps? skipped to parties, but managed to drag myself to santi's 21st..which was really good..nice finger food, and an AWESOME cake...some choc cake from david jones...OMG it was heaven!!

i've been cravin 2 things in the last few days: 1)cinnamon toast crunch (damn u mike iskor for introducin it to me) and 2) reese's peanut butter cup. both of which i cant get in australia.. *sigh* i guess il jus have to wait till dec when i go (or if, dependin very much on my financial situation) to the US...arrgh i hate not havin money..

anyways, back to me whinin. sometimes i wonder, is studyin overseas always a good thing? for one, its given me the independence i have always craved, but on the other hand, i feel lik i've lost touch with things at home.like family for instance. its so hard to keep a tab on things, and things sometimes get misinterpreted along the way. i've come to a conclusion: no more will i attempt to try and butt in to things tht are goin on at home. mayb im jus makin things worse, in any case, i thk tht not being there, i no longer have the right to do so. my life is no longer back home. my life is here, right now. lol. i jus realised how little sense this is goin to make to ppl who read this..
anyways, as i was sayin, my life is not in malaysia, nor will it ever truly be. without soundin like a total complete n utter bitch, im goin to admit this: i dont miss home. ppl are always talkin abt missin their late night pratas and havin their mommies do their laundry. but the fact is, ive been like a freakin nomad for such a long time tht treading unfamiliar territories has become a weirdly familiar thing for me. and the incident tonight just sealed my belief. no more is my life there. i guess this the sacrifice one has to make in this scenario.

*sigh*

*double sigh*

somehow, somethin tells me tht i have made things worse. and unfortunately other ppl are the ones who are goin to feel the wrath, not me. which is makin this guilt even harder to handle.

from now onwards,communication will be minimal, and limited to wat i have done for the day.might jus be easier tht way.

malaysia no longer holds my heart.

wait.... what heart??

alright, on to more lively things... today i ran longer than usual. 3 rounds around uni (deepa will be so proud of me) and the i ran along dandenong road, turned into clayton road, and back to kanooka grove. ran for more than an hour. strangely enough, after all tht, i didnt feel tired. i didnt even feel SOB. HR was not up. which makes me feel like i didnt work hard enough. like the last 2 days after like 5 mins itself i was feelin so out of breath n tired tht i ended up walkin. hmmm. my body is very neurotic, much like me.

ok. im off to bed now. sorry for the miscommunication and pissin u off. from now on, u do wat u do, and i will do wat i do. plz dont expect miracles from me, im very much incapable of such things.