Saturday, January 27, 2007

I Want Insomnia. NOW.

ok its 6.56 am in santa rosa and i havent slept all night. the reason being (and i learnt this from nava) is tht i have a LOOOOOONG (and i mean long) flight ahead of me from San Francisco to singapore, and then from Singapore to KL. and if i dont sleep now hopefully i'l just knock out on the plane.why is it when i want to sleep i cant sleep and now when i really dont want to sleep i feel sleepy. and the worst part is im eating to get myself to stay awake. great. 2500 calories and counting. idiot.

so here i am bloggin in the wee hours of the morning in this quaint little town called santa rosa. did i mention about the body they found in the car in the santa rosa junior college? yup, this stanford (oh btw i just learnt tht MIT and Stanford are NOT ivy league universities as i earlier thought.) student went missing a few days ago and they found her body in the trunk of her car in the car park of the santa rosa junior college. and on tht same night, gayatri, chin khan and i went for a late night movie. kinda freaky after hearing this news, and plus the movie finished around 12.30, and by tht time the whole time seemed foggy makin it more eerie lookin. ok maybe it wasnt all tht bad and im lettin my paranoia get the best of me.

i had an interesting talk wit a very good fren (a conjoined one, lol) abt long distance relationships (im just going to call it LDR for short). do they or do they not work? i know ppl who have extremely successful LDRs, and as painful as it is, they manage. god, i salute them. so back to my fren, her LDR has been particularly hard because both she and her better half study in different countries from their common homeland and hence have different holidays. Also, what was interesting was tht prior to beginning their LDR, they had not been goin out for very long. i must admit, my initial view on LDRs was this: it is possible, but u need to have been around the other person long enough before the relationship become an LDR; i.e. the initial part of the relationship should ideally not be an LDR, because how else are u goin to know the person well enough unless u are around tht person long enough? well this fren of mine has challenged my perception on this by defying on odds to make it work. i suppose havin a great deal of dedication from both sides is what really held this 2 together through all the shit they've been through. it got me thinkin..maybe LDRs are possible after all for those couples tht have a deep sense of connection to each other.

take this other fren of mind for example. He fell for this chick ONE DAY before she left for the UK. He was bound for Australia, and yet, they somehow managed to pull it off. Amazing.

i thk the hardest part abt being in a LDR is not the fact tht u dont get to see each other as much, but tht u dont get to see the other person grow. the fact of the matter is, ppl change. change is inevitable. the only thing tht is constant is change. and i thk it becomes an issue because ur other half isnt there when this change happens, or isnt there to witness this change, and eventually u grow apart. having been in a LDR myself, i can pretty much say this is one of the main reasons it didnt work for me. i changed. yes, i admit i am a different person than i was 5 years ago, but it doesnt make me a bad person. does it??

another fren once told me, and as mean as this sounds, i cant help but wonder if this is true. she said tht an LDR can only truly survive if each party is jus as good as the other; ie one party cannot be "more good lookin" or "too good" for the other. sounds shallow, but i guess i see the rationale in tht. If a person is deemed good lookin and is in a totally different continent, tht person is definitely going to "tempted" and the strains of being in a LDR can lead to the person giving in to what's there, and not to what is back home thousands of miles away.

but then again, at the end of the day i dont thk tht really applies to all cases. if ur really committed to one another, you wont be tempted. and i strongly believe tht relationships based on superficiality are doomed to begin with. a deeper connection is needed. you want someone who u can talk with all night long, and not feel bored, but at the same time be with someone whom you can spend all day in their arms and not say a single word, and still not be bored. ahh, the comfort of having there for you, or simply the knowledge of it, is often very reassuring.

whoever said opposites attract, must not have actually gone out with such a person.

on a brighter note, jo and i are goin to go to hartamas! to do what, i shall not say, but somethin tells me jo, being the B**ch tht she is (u know i love u gurl) will chicken out.

oh, and bianca is movin in wit emmilie and caroline!! i know im not gonna be their housemates but im so excited coz their really fun to hang out wit!! cant wait to go back to melb and check out her new place!

somebody help me stay awake!!

nan

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

ldrs are really really boring. ur just bored bored bored bored. and the other persons' bored bored bored. theres nothing to talk about, just stupid things like, what did u eat, what YOU eat? sigh. i think u need t be really rich and godfugly to pull it off. or else.

im in one, and im so bored

12:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think... LDRs are very tiring and it drains the life out of u...

i was in one, and i got tired and drained...

happier being single

6:06 AM  

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